No News is Good News

I am holding steady. Very pleased with myself. Had a very similar eating day to yesterday. Just checking in. I was down another 2-3 pounds this a.m. No hunger, no fatigue--only clarity, energy and focus. I have a cold, and even in that, I only feel it in my throat--no achiness at all. Tomorrow comes the toughest day of the week for me ... I will have find a way to hold firm.

Keeping the Rhythm

Not much new on the eating front. I keep doing what I am supposed to do according to Dr. Fuhrman's six week plan. It is definitely working. I am eating two meals a day right now and am feeling quite satisfied. I am alert and focused and mentally clear--much more than when I am eating SAD--the Standard American Diet. I have taken enough weight off for it to be quite noticeable to me, but not necessarily to other people. I am moving easier. My skin is softer. I have lost the bloat. Even my hair is more cooperative. My skin tone is changing to a healthier look. All this is good.

While I have been at this point before, I don't think I have ever been at this point eating so purely clean. I have not been having salt in processed foods (hummus, refried beans--my two temptations). I have been strictly ETL. And, in the interest of weight loss and gaining health more quickly, I have not been having starchy vegetables or grains.

Learning to eat ETL is a very different from eating SAD. Dr. Fuhrman says that you should eat only when hungry. At first, this is a frightening prospect. However, it isn't as scary as it seems. And, I know for myself this is true. One time, I overate on ETL foods and I ended up throwing everything up. So, with that memory from 2 years ago fresh in my mind, I listen to my body more carefully.

Tonight, I thought I should eat because I haven't had much. But, when I tried to eat, my gag reflex kicked in and the food did not taste good (the same meal that tasted great last night). I quit eating that dish (beans, broccoli, onions and mushrooms--again, this tasted great last night) without finishing what I thought I would eat. Just to make sure I didn't run into trouble tonight, I had two bites of beans and again, started gagging. I stopped. I had about 4 raspberries and the walnuts that I planned to have. I ended up with a very small meal and feel just fine. Calorically, I know the meal was very low. But, I know that I am doing well nutritionally because I am not hungry and seem to be through the toxic hunger.

So, the bottom line is that I have been here before but let it go for SAD food. This time, I feel more tenacious. I feel like I am matter-of-factly accepting this way of life in a way that I didn't do--even when I successfully was 30 pounds lighter following the same plan. But, even then, I still ate processed refried beans (low sodium). I also went off plan 1-2 times a week. This time, I know the importance of staying fully on plan for the six weeks at least. In reality, I will probably need to be fully on board most of the time. Little concessions turn into big problems for me. At least, that is what my past tells me.

Another Great Day

I am definitely in a rhythm of Fuhrman eating, and it feels good. I was able to exercise this a.m. I ate two meals. This a.m. I posted another 2-3 pound weight loss. I am in a good mental place right now--no temptations of any kind. Had green juice this a.m. without sweet fruit--what a great feeling after I have had it. This was heavy with cabbage and kale with a zucchini and lime. I'm heading off to bed early, so I am not feeling like writing much. With my early morning exercise, I need to get to bed pretty early.

Odds and Ends in the Progress Toward Healing

I am now in my second week of being on Dr. Fuhrman's 6-week plan. I veered off a little on Friday, but all is going great. Even Friday had ETL-friendly foods and it wasn't hard to recover from that bout. I will say, though, that I did not sleep well on Friday, and I am wondering if that was from the bread and dates. I know that yeast in bread usually bothers me, so I usually stay away from bread. Gluten free bread tend to have higher amounts of yeast, I believe. Don't quote me on that--I may not remember accurately. But, gf yeast bread bothers me more than wheat bread in some ways. The bottom line is that I am a person who really shouldn't have bread period. It serves as a trigger food more often than not.

This morning was the first morning I felt really good running in a long time. This is especially good because it was definitely a humid morning. The day got hot, too, but in the Y it was air conditioned. The humidity tends to bother me even when inside, so I am think I am starting to get in better shape. I was able to push some of my running faster and did some of it slower. But, I ran 4 miles without stopping and felt good even at the end. I definitely broke a sweat. I feel fine all day and did not feel like I overdid it. 

At school today, I didn't get lunch. I didn't even feel like I needed it. I think I am going to plan to skip lunch tomorrow and just eat two meals. It makes food prep much easier, too. Plus, it is good for the body to go with two meals to give it more time to recover and heal.

I will also note that I was very tired over the weekend. Could be the results of the beginning of school. Could be the results of detox. Could be both. My energy was definitely back today, though, so I am relieved by that.

I cut the amount of fruit in my smoothies today, so there is another positive. I have been worried that I have had too much fruit. I used to have a quart smoothie with too much fruit.  Now, I am putting less fruit in and having only a pint. It is also nice to have smoothies made up for 2 days. Mr. C. and I each have a pint smoothie.

No weight loss today, but I am feeling great.

My Body Is Giving a Big Sigh of Relief

That line says everything right now in terms of where I am at. I have kept up the momentum over the weekend. Yesterday was a great day eating-wise, plus I ran 4 miles and lifted weights. I am through the worst of the initial "toxic hunger" cravings that Dr. Fuhrman talks about and that I have experienced before. I feel my desire for larger quantities of food decreasing as well. I am not hungry, and the best way to describe the way my body feels is that it is giving a big sigh of relief. I slept very well last night, and I think I needed some of that rest to recover from what was a crazy week with all four of us beginning school. Everyone goes through their own stresses when that happens, and it is always a tough week around here.

I am thrilled that my weight is down 13 pounds or so, and that weight loss is slowing down now a bit from the initial drop of water weight and bloating. My skin is feeling softer. And, after my initial Friday night foray off the strict plan that I have been keeping for myself, I was able to get myself back on track.

I am really going to miss the farmer's market. That gave me a nice supply of greens to juice. Mr. C. and I have each been having smaller green smoothies. We used to have a full mason jar. Now, we are each having half of that. I am finding myself satisfied with that amount. Yesterday and today, I made a helping of green juice to have with the breakfast smoothie, and it has tasted good. Yesterday, our green juice did not have fruit in--just the juice of half a lime. Today, our green juice had zucchini, kale, chard, cucumber, spinach, 1 orange and the juice of 1/3 of a lime. I am finding that I love the green juice--partly because I feel the effects of it so quickly.

One other thing I did notice yesterday was when I got up from sitting in the car. I was surprised by both the speed and ease with which I was able to move. That's one of the slight changes that caught me off guard. As for the rest of today, a nap is sounding very good. I am going to try not to push it, even though I would like to make a pot of soup. I feel like that might throw me off kilter for the week, to not treat today as a day of rest ...

The Friday Trap

I had a crazy Friday at work. Of course, when I got home, I had the desire to eat out, to let down, to eat foods that really are not foods. I did have a glass of green juice and that helped. I veered off track a little, but not bad for a Friday night. I feel like I am safely through the worst now, which really means that I no longer feel the urge to have anything. Instead of going completely off the rails, I had some dates (4-5), toast (2 small gluten free pieces), peanut butter in addition to walnuts, and a banana I really did not need. It all tasted good, and even though I wasn't very far off of plan, I did feel like it all was a treat. I also stopped when I felt satisfied. I will mark today as success even though I wasn't perfect.

Removing All the Addicting Foods

I am on another day of success and am feeling like a much different person than I did even five days ago. I have been completely on Dr. Fuhrman's six-week plan, which includes removing all salt, added oil, animal products, and sugar. It also includes focusing on getting leafy greens, fresh vegetables, seeds, beans, nuts, fruits. Like I said yesterday, my mental clarity is much improved and my energy levels are greatly increased. I have not felt tired and certainly do not feel the need for coffee or caffeine. Even though I have not had caffeine since early August, there are days I still definitely want it. In fact, the next time I do feel that need, I am going to juice a variety of greens. The juicing is proving a powerful tool in helping me succeed right now.

The most important learning that comes out of this week is that I need to remove all addictive foods--sugar, salt, animal products and processed foods. Even eating small portions trigger problems for me and just make it harder to stay on plan--especially in my transition. I am certain that at some point, I will add them in again. But, for now, I can only think of today and plan tomorrow. But, I am feeling strong right now and am building off of success. It helps, too, that I have taken off a good ten pounds since Saturday. I am sure that will all slow down now after this dramatic transition from terrible eating last week to great eating this week.

Fridays always trigger nasty patterns for me. I decided that for this Friday night, I am going to make a larger portion of green juice and have that. If I am not hungry, that is all I will have. Mr. Conundrum and I both love the taste of green juice and he thinks that will be a real treat, too. The beauty of a glass of green juice is that I think it will halt my cravings and because it feels like a treat, it may also curb my emotional eating.

My goal this time through is to commit for a lifetime to this type of eating and to take off the weight once and for all. I am not naive enough to think there won't be challenges, but I am tired of doing the same struggle over and over again and always wishing my weight to be different. I just need to make it happen and live the life I want to lead now.

Clarity of Mind and Increased Productivity

Today, I went and lifted weights and ran. It felt good, and I broke a great sweat running. It felt like I was getting rid of impurities now that my diet is cleaner. That may just be my imagination, but it felt like what it felt and that helps my mindset.

Today at work, I had so much to do, and I felt that clarity of mind that comes with healthier eating. I am actually eating quite healthy, but since I am only really a few days in full force, I can only say healthier eating :-). In fact, I have so much to do this year that I feel like the only way I will get through the year is if I do, in fact, stick to this plan. I am feeling much better and sleeping pretty well for the first week of school.

I am currently weighing myself daily--more because I am curious about how quickly my body is changing. Sometimes, I stay away from the scale because of impatience. But, right now, I am weighing out of curiosity. For what it is worth, I don't feel impatient this time around. Perhaps because I am on this for good. Perhaps because I am so busy.

Mr. C. and I juiced swiss chard, kale, cabbage, zucchini, orange, and squeezed juice of half a lime at the end. It was stronger than the other juices we have had, but I really liked the effect it had on me. If I succeed this time around, I think it will be because of the green juice. It really is refreshing and helps take cravings away very quickly--quicker than the food.

Momentum Part 2

I have had another good day. I have taken off 9 pounds since Saturday by changing my diet. I know a lot of that is water weight, but I feel so much better than I did 4 days ago.

I am eating the Fuhrman plan, and I am pleased with my staying on plan. One thing I have done yesterday and today is added green juice into the mix. I cannot believe how refreshing that is. Yesterday, I made a cucumber, lime, orange, apple, and kale juice mix. Mr. Conundrum and I both really enjoyed that mix. Then, today, I made a kale, swiss chard, orange, zucchini and lime mix that was delicious. I found myself energized by both the drinks that I had with dinner.

I am hoping to keep up with the juicing this year. The risk for the juicing is adding too much fruit, so today I went down to one piece of fruit. Mr. C. and I split the drink so that was the juice of half an orange.

Breakfast: Green smoothie with blueberries, strawberries, kale, romaine lettuce, and banana and a few beans

Lunch: Romaine lettuce salad with pinto, garbanzo, and black beans, cucumber, tomato, carrots and an orange juice, pomegranate juice and cashew dressing

Dinner: Steamed kale, spinach, mushrooms, onions, and zucchini, watermelon and cashews

All in all, things are going so much better. I feel so satisfied and distant from my cravings. Honestly, all the greens help, but I love the addition of the green juice. It really helps me. I feel very positive and like I can continue this tomorrow. And, that is what I plan to do.

Momentum

Yesterday was a bit of challenge to stay on track. However, I did manage to pull off an okay day. I stayed away from grains, meat, cheese. I did have eggs and wine and a date/nut treat. The scale was down today after two better (but not perfect days). Just dropping some of the bloat really takes away the weight. I feel much better, just reinforcing the lesson that grains and bad food is addictive to me and impacts my body in mental and physical ways--all of which are destructive.

Today is the final day before three of us start school. Mr. Twister still has a couple days to go before he starts, so he will spend time with grandma. Today, I have a lot to do. I feel good because I started the day with a 4 mile run with just a bit walking at the beginning to warm up. It felt good and the weather was lovely. Also, yesterday, I got the pesky closet/room cleaning that I wanted to get done this summer. Nothing like waiting till the final moment--sigh. But, it feels like a burden is lifted to have that cleaned--especially since I am donating a lot of things and clearing out some space.

I need to buy groceries for the week. I am getting healthy options for myself. For the moment, that is progress. In the throes of addiction, momentum is sometimes the hardest thing to find.

Time to Turn Myself Around

The final two weeks of August were not good for me, and I took it out on myself. I ate poorly and then did not feel like exercising. That is the most important thing I need to remember: how counterproductive bad foods are on my mental health. The mental health really impacts the physical health (and vice versa). For me, the bad foods generally start the process.  I eat foods that contribute to disease, not health, and I do not exercise like I should. And, I also understand that I am addicted to the unhealthy foods. I must break the addiction if I plan to get off the roller coaster, and to do that, I need to stop emotional eating.

Yesterday, I started eating better. It should be no surprise that exercising went better today than yesterday--even though yesterday was only walking and today was run/walking. I did not sleep well last night. But, the weather was glorious: a delightful fall day with low humidity! How refreshing was that. For me, I know humidity plays a role in my summer issues. I should probably chart humidity levels with my eating patterns. I think, too, the fact that we do not have central air impacts my response to humidity. Our window air conditioners just do not tackle the humidity or cooling very effectively in hot humid weather. I know the humidity does not help my weight. In some ways, I think I have reverse seasonal affective disorder where I get depressed in summer and feel better the other three seasons.

I did weigh myself yesterday, and the results were awful. I am glad that I did this, though, because often I do not weigh myself at a high. Then, I regret it as I start with a lower number in terms of seeing progress. Plus, I do not want to be in denial about my weight because that, too, is counterproductive.

Today, I am cleaning some things at home that have been weighing me down mentally. It feels very good. Of course, I planned to get to them all summer, but that never happened. I plan to continue this momentum today. I am at the top end of my "too big" clothes. I also plan to do some shopping today. Sadly, I am going to need to rely on my blue shirt for the start of school. I think I am going to get rid of this round of big clothes after they are just that. I did that with the two sizes above where I am now, and I  have never gone there again. Keeping these clothes fosters a mindset that it is okay to choose destructive eating paths, which I no longer want to do for my health and my weight.

All the reasons I need to lose weight:

be around for my family
overall health
vanity (of course this plays a role)
blood pressure
diabetes
ability to enjoy life
good mental health
easier aging process

I know there are more reasons, but that is a start for right now.

August Recap

• August was a good month for exercise. Sadly, though, I have let things go a little bit at the end of August. It did not help that my bike broke and since finances have been tight, I have not replaced it or fixed it. The bike is 19 years old. I would like to upgrade to a more serious bike. I have postponed the decision till spring, though. I do want to commit to biking a lot next year, though, so I am hoping to be able to afford the bike then. Weight-wise: I am higher than I was at the beginning of August. It is time to change that.

• August 2: Ran/walked 4 miles
• August 3: Biked 12 miles
• August 6: Biked 12 miles
• August 8: Elliptical 5.5 miles (intervals of 4 and 10 resistance)
• August 9: Lifted weights and ran/walked 4 miles
• August 10: Biked 12 miles
• August 11: Ran/walked 6 miles and 4.25 miles on elliptical with easier interval resistances (3 and 1)
• August 12: Walked/ran 4.25 miles
• August 14: Ran most of 6 miles
• August 15: Lifted weights, 4.25 on elliptical with intervals 4 and 10
• August 16: 5 miles-ran 3 and walked 2
• August 17: Biked 11 miles, lifted weights, ran/walked 1.5 miles
• August 19: Ran/walked 6 miles
• August 22: Walked/ran 6 miles
• August 23: Weightlifting and 5 miles on elliptical at intervals 4 and 12
• August 27: 6 mile walk/run
• August 30: 2.75 Walk/Run