Recharting a Life's Course

I'm not sure I like my overviews within the blog entries, so I am going to eliminate that feature right now. I have not posted in a week in part because, yes, last week was a truly busy week. The bigger reason that I have not posted is my expanding waistline; yes, if I am honest, I have not posted because I have had a horrendous time of eating. I knew this time of year was going to be bad because I have not had any time to focus on myself. This really gets to me. I am frantically busy from 6:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. and that doesn't not build any time in for correcting papers, healthful cooking, sitting down and taking a deep breath. I stretch the schedule thinner by correcting papers when I should be sleeping. So, just like last year, I am gaining weight--rapidly. And, it's time to get it under control. As a result of the past week, I have been wallowing in emotional eating, and I have seriously considered the negative impact this has on my health. Thus, I am ready to make two major changes in my life, and I commit myself now to them: 1) I need to reevaluate my professional commitments and reduce the extras that I take on, and 2) I need to commit to writing for myself. Writing does help me in so many ways.

These periods of overcommitment (Jan.-April) have taught me a lot about myself over the past two years. I currently have been overcommitted for three months, and overall, I did better this year. But, the bottom line is that my days leave me no time for me. I find myself starting to hate work and eating emotionally to handle the stress. Even though logically, I know my motivations for my actions, I still do them. Part of the reason for the eating comes from physiological reasons: I shortchange my sleep first, then my exercise and my eating. I know there is a research-based connection between sleep deprivation and desire for fatty foods--I just heard about it again this week on the news. On top of that, I feel greater stress because I am not as available for my husband and my children. This causes more emotional stress, which leads to emotional eating. I need to break this cycle and enjoy my days. Life is short.

The bottom line is that I can and will no longer keep up such a frenetic pace that I used to enjoy a lot more than I do now. As an English teacher, I have a great deal of outside paperwork to complete on top of what I do during the day. While the reality is that I need the stipends from the two extracurriculars with which I am involved, the reality is also that I need to let at least one of these go and preferably both of them. This is a decision I have made. Next year, I will not do both of them. I may still have to take on one of them for financial reasons, but I will be done with both. I am going to scrimp and save in other ways rather than take on this schedule again.

My second commitment to myself is that I am going to blog frequently--at least five days a week. I have always wanted to write, but I have been afraid that I will not be able to commit to it. I have ideas for books that I start but never finish. I have started and stopped many journals. In 2009, I proved that I could write by finishing a book-length dissertation. For years, I have loved reading blogs. Reading them consistently made me want to write a blog. But, I have been afraid of not being able to commit fully to it because I have not succeeded in some of my other writing goals. But, over the past week, I have decided that this is the other decision I need to make for myself. I will blog. I will be a blogger. Maybe someone will even read my blog.

I must wrap up my overcommitments in the next couple weeks. While I do that, I may blog more sporadically than I plan in the coming months. I know that will be part of the process. I have enjoyed writing every entry so far, and I feel that I am moving in the right direction. I need this more than any of the extracurricular activities I have done. I am ready to commit.

Action Plan

1) Wrap up commitments

2) Blog

3) Organize Blog

3) Plan for shift in priorities